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>>torpor — chapter five: the final orgasm::

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Disclaimer: Please don't mark this to the FF.net admins. It's rated R, see? There's nothing wrong with this stuff in a rated R fic! See? SEE? Anyway, it wouldn't be very nice. What did I ever do wrong to you?



General Pepper's giant head fired rockets which blew up the Great Fox in a spectacular fireball. All of Star Fox was in the bridge at the moment, unfortunately.

A crowd was forming in the streets of Corneria City, watching at the sudden development in the skies far above them. "Oh no! The LOSER Star Fox team has been destroyed!"

An animal-person with three eyes pointed up. "No, wait! Someone's still alive! I see his parachute!"

Fox's head jar was indeed floating down with the aid of an emergency parachute. He had abandoned ship just in time, and avoided the crispy, charred death his incompetent teammates suffered. Then, in a stroke of irony, his parachute caught a cross-breeze and was sent off course. He landed in the gaping maw of a newly formed live volcano, landing directly in the magma as he screamed obscenities. The pressure cracked his glass casing and his dismembered head sunk, consumed in the fiery pool of lava.

"Don't worry, Star Wolf will save us," an unimportant pro wrestler in the crowd said confidently.

Just on cue, Star Wolf's four ships came to the rescue, and started shooting stuff at General Pepper's giant floating head. They were busy having hot, passionate sex, when they were interrupted by the emergency Wolf-signal in the skies. None of them were wearing pants in their ship cockpits, but nobody on the ground could see or know that, really.

"FOOLISH STAR WOLF. ONLY I HAVE THE DONGS TO RULE LYLAT!" Pepper tried swallowing them by inhaling the air into his mouth. Failing that, he regurgitated bagels and scrambled eggs mixed with ketchup at them.

Wolf dodged the breakfast food and fired lasers into Pepper's eyeballs. "Why are you doing this? And how did you become a giant head anyway?"


Wolf screamed in rage. "Never! You killed my father! I'll never forgive you!"


Wolf and Panther fired their nova bombs at the evil dog, but Pepper simply snorted them up his nose as if they were his cheap crack from back at his private office. His general hat flopped open and exploding robot bees came swarming out of his head, seeking the Wolfen ships for a suicidal explosion.

Just then, a muscular rhino, armed with many, many guns, leapt from the top of the tallest skyscraper, and grabbed onto the fur of Pepper's cheek. He was dangling far above the ground, clinging only to a few hairs, but he screamed in determination and kept his grip. "Death to Emperor Pepper!" He shouted, as he let go of one hand. It reached for the gun on his back, which he swung around and fired point-blank into Pepper's skull. The incredible plasma explosion from the huge gun incinerated Pepper's outer shell defenses, and the giant head went careening out of control. It spun in circles as it plummetted to the ground. The rhino was already dead, his body vaporized instantly by the explosion of his big gun. Emperor Pepper crashed into Panther's favourite coffee shop (recently rebuilt after the Aparoid War) and the head exploded in a fierce blast of light.

"wOLf o'dONneLl… i WILl FiNIsh yOu oNcE AnD foR ALL!"

Wolf gasped.

From the wreckage of Pepper's giant head, the bits of skull and machinery that were melded together in a hideous creation, came the true evil behind it all. It was none other than Fox's penis.


It had grown and mutated while in its protective casing. It was not the organ they all had known before. It was more like a fearsome draconian monster from a nightmare. The spines were glowing with energy, and those teeth would make Xenomorphs run in fear. It snaked through the air, showing off its fully grown adult form, 50 meters long.

Panther gasped. He had already fit the pieces of the puzzle into place. "You were manipulating Pepper… so that means you were also behind Dr. Andrea as well!"

Leon gasped. "Which means Fox's penis was behind his own assassination attempt from the beginning!"

Winter gasped. "I can't believe it. This was the mysterious being that killed Wolfie's parents all those years ago?"

Wolf nodded grimly. "I never forget a face. They all thought I was crazy when I said I saw Fox's crotch pull the trigger in that alley of Gotham City, but now I've proven to the world I was right all along."

Fox's dong cackled demonically. "NOw i sHalL fiNISh THe jOb! DiE, WolF jR!"

The skies turned dark red and black. The grassy Cornerian fields were turning brown and dry, their life force being drained out of the soil. This was no mere giant telepathic robot, this was truly a creature from the deepest pits of the abyss, with the power to twist the very roots of creation to fit its own liking. The planet of Corneria was now undergoing a transformation; it would soon reflect the very home realm of the penis demon. And it would only be the first planet to suffer. Now that it was unleashed upon this dimension, the rest of the Lylat System would be corrupted as well. Nay, the entire galaxy!

Wolf and his wingmen tried to keep in formation to protect themselves, but the energy rupturing throughout the skies was too strong. They were scattered like leaves among the four winds, completely powerless against the greater forces at work. Wolf gritted his teeth and clenched his eyes shut. "This is the end… I've failed you, father!"

There was a blinding white light.

There was a ghostly silence.

When it seemed like the silence would be unbearable, a proud voice came forward, breaking the bleak vision of hopelessness.

"Don't ever give up, my son."

Wolf opened his eyes, and he was starting to regain his vision. "…… Father?"


The cool grey metallic frame of the robot could be seen, grappling Fox's penis with all its might. That mighty crusader of the Star Fox universe, rumoured to have been destroyed in a brave act of sacrifice to save Corneria, was in fact still alive! The ultimate combat robot, RAPE-64, had been wished back by the power of the dragon balls, and his strength had increased tenfold, thanks to his special training in the afterlife. He had arrived back in the mortal plane just in time.

"Yes Wolf… it is I." RAPE-64 swung a fist forward, punching a crater into the surface of the dick's shaft.

"I… I can't believe it! Father?" Wolf was in tears of joy.

"After I was murdered, they transplanted my mind and memories to this robot. Although I could never live as your father anymore, I have never forgotten you. And I have always been watching over you."

"Do it, Father." Wolf smiled.

"LET'S ROCK AND ROLL!" the Star Wolf team cried out in unison.

RAPE-64 dodged the demonic penis's fluids by hovering back and forth on its leg-mounted rocket jets. "I've come… for vengeance."

Fox's penis screamed in fury, but could not land a single hit. It finally decided to swing itself into the robot, to crush it against a mountain. Big mistake. It was no match for the spinning kick's power, and it was knocked back, already stunned in the balls.

RAPE-64 opened up his internal chest compartment, revealing his new rape-powered spirit engine. He raised his arms above his robotic head and began charging up his beam, growing stronger as the spirits of rape from deep within Corneria gathered at his fingertips in a giant sphere. "The power of rape should be used for good, and never for evil!"

He unleashed the energy into a focused beam.

It only took a moment.

But just long enough to wipe out the demonic energy from within the creature, fatally wounding it.

"iF I go DowN i'M taKING YOu witH ME!" it shrieked, as it wrapped itself around RAPE-64's exhausted body.

"Get out of here, son!" RAPE-64 called out desperately.

"Father! No!" Wolf shook his head. But he had no choice. RAPE-64 had hijacked control of his ship remotely, and was setting the four Wolfens on an escape path.

They looked back as they saw Corneria City wiped out by the massive sphere of light.

"Kaneeeeedaaaaa! Er, I mean Faaaaaatheeeer!" Wolf whimpered.

"Hah, I don't think so."

RAPE-64 flew out from the chaos, just in time. His robotic body was in ruins, but he was safe. Corneria's skies were returning to normal.

Peace had finally returned at last. But RAPE-64's body was beyond repair, he would never be able to fight again. Star Wolf swore to become the new protector of the Lylat System.

And with the battle finally over, they all gave a hearty laugh as they flew off into the sunset. And then into the sun. Sizzle, fwoosh.



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